


Loving You

by Felinis



Category: Tales of Berseria
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Study, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felinis/pseuds/Felinis
Summary: In which Laphicet questions the morality of his love





	Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> Felinis: another homework fanfic! I hope you enjoy this

“Velvet? Velvet? Are you awake? I guess not.”

“Velvet… I’ve been thinking. Ever since I started traveling with everyone I’ve felt a lot of new things. Before I met you, I never understood how wonderful a bowl of curry could be or how nice it was to travel on the road. I never had anything…” Before this all Laphicet knew was darkness and following orders. He was a number in a crowd of other children. The small boy curled up his legs and leaned against the cool metal walls of Eizen's van.  

“I know I’m just a kid. I know that it’s silly for me to say this, but I love you. All of you. Every day I want to wake up and hear you and Eleanor fight over something, because I know you really do care about each other… Even if you don’t seem like it." He laughs softly as he sees Eleanor draped over one of the plush leather seats snoring softly. "I look forward to hearing what Eizen has to say about the world while complaining to Rokurou about how he butchered breakfast. I want to hear Magi’s jokes. Especially, the bad ones. I love everything I’ve felt.” He clutches his hand as the rage starts to bubble. He thinks of where he and Velvet had run from.

“But… I’ve started to wonder… Velvet, is it terrible that I… that I hate your brother… You gave me his name. A name I love, but I hate him. He hurt you so much. He made you suffer and broke your heart. I hate that! I hate him for that!..." He almost screams the words but nobody stirs. "Yet, you still love him. You still love him even though he’s done all these terrible things to you. Didn’t it hurt? You thought he was dead and that my Dad- that he…" Velvet sometimes wakes screaming about the gunshot. The way her brother's body fell to the floor. Sometimes she mutters incoherently about the fighting pit and the hell that was. "And when we found him you weren’t angry. Even after what he did to you. You were just sad… Velvet, how can you forgive like that? When I seem him, my blood boils and I want to punch him.”

“I guess… I can understand why. He’s still your little brother. No matter what he does, you’ll always see the small sick kid that lay in his bed reading books. I hate that too. But, I can’t change that… You always try to look cold and like you couldn’t forgive anyone, but it’s the opposite. I love that about you and I hope that he did too. I don’t care if everyone says you’re all bad people. To me, you’re wonderful.” He thinks of her amber eyes that always seem cold and distant... But, warm even after her brother had destroyed her life.

“I do feel guilty though. We do a lot of bad things and sometimes hurt a lot of good people. I know that it’s just how we survive, but I feel guilty. I know that you try not to, but Eizen and Rokurou just do what they want. I feel bad whenever we steal antiques or fight people… But, maybe not as much as I should." There's a rush when they break the glass of a store window and run off with treasure from inside. Or when Laphicet distracts people with his young face. "I’ve actually started to enjoy the bad deeds. As long as nobody is killed I find that I have fun… Is that bad? Eleanor says it is and I know she hates breaking the rules… but I love being free. That’s how Eizen likes to be.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t love the bad things. It doesn’t seem right. But, Magilou says it’s normal. That everyone has vices and that without indulging them, we’re denying ourselves. I mean, that’s not exactly how she said it. It was more like…" He tilts his head and does his best to imitate the woman's eccentric tone. He hears her let out a loud snore from the floor where she’s lying her long hair splayed everywhere. "‘Human souls are troubled things! Without giving into depravity happiness is fleeting and empty. Oh, to deny ourselves is a sin when life is so short. Especially, a witch such as myself! Best to live doing whatever and ignore morality.’ I think, she meant that since life is short, we want to do bad stuff because if we don’t experience it we miss out. That everyone needs to have at least one wrong thing they love. But, if it’s big like stealing things… should I love that? Maybe, I’m reading too much into it, but I can’t help asking why.” Magilou doesn’t often make sense and more than not her advice is purposely bad. The woman is always pretending to have no interest in anything. Often playing off that she only sticks around for the fun of it, but he knows better. Magilou wouldn’t keep candy to give to him if she didn’t care.

“Eleanor says that morality is important. That you can’t love without it. She told me that even though she hates our lifestyle she won’t stop till we bring your brother to justice… I hope we don’t catch your him. Once we do, I’ll have to say goodbye to you Velvet. There’s no way Eleanor would let me stay with you after everything. Even if she likes you… Eleanor will send you to trial." Eleanor was only here to catch his father and Velvet's brother. She only tolerated their actions and she had to act as a traitor to the police force in order to catch them. Laphicet knew that once this was over Velvet would be sent to jail for all the bad things she had done. Maybe she'd be given some sort of leniency for her troubled past but he doubted it. The most he could hope for was that Velvet was sent to a rehabilitation for people like her. People her were broken. He’d be sent to something like that too. "It doesn’t seem fair. I love you! I know you kill people and do bad things, but I love you! I love you so much! It’s not fair! If love is built on good morals like Eleanor thinks, then doesn’t that mean… I can’t love you, Velvet…? Doesn't that mean only loving Eleanor is okay?”

“I want to love you… I want to love all of you… Even if we do bad things… Even if we steal and cause fires… Even if we kill people… We love each other. Even Eleanor loves you! I know when I look at the way she gets all shy when you compliment her…” Laphicet knows what they’re doing is wrong. That they shouldn’t cause havoc just to draw out his father… should he even call that man that? He’d never treated Laphicet like a son and threw him away with Mom to go play around with Velvet’s older sister. The word family doesn’t mean anything when everyone related to him tossed him around so easily. “I think Eizen is right. That the only way to live is to chart your own course and ignore the rules… But know them so you can decide if breaking them is worth it. Eizen steals and beats people up. He’s done bad things longer than any of us and he still loves his sister. And, she loves him! Edna wouldn’t always write letters if it weren’t true. She wouldn’t always be asking if he’d visit if she didn’t want to see him. She loves him despite knowing that!” Edna loved her brother who stole because he liked the thrill. Loved her brother who felt alive in a fist fight. Loved a man who was violent and scary, yet one of the nicest people Laphicet had ever known. And, Eizen loved her back. It wasn’t one sided! He kept away for her sake and sent any money he got to Edna. He had friends keeping eyes on her to tell him if she was fine. They cared so much for each other! The man has fallen asleep in the driver’s seat and is leaning on the steering wheel. His blonde hair and clear blue eyes just like his sister’s. “If morals make love, how can she love him so much? How can she despite everything? I think it's because love allows us to accept morals outside the norm. We have to have our own morals, but we have to be willing to accept everyone for their faults. I think love is even something more than that…” He looks and the drooling man in the passenger seat next to Eizen. His snore is deep and his chair is leaned all the way back. As usual Rokurou looks comfortable despite everything.

“I think love is like when Rokurou wakes up and looks at each day with a smile. Because, he thinks about what he wants to do and just that. Rokurou just lives. I know asking him about what he thinks is probably pointless since he doesn’t think about stuff like that. I think that’s why he always seems so happy and carefree. He just lets life be. He loves whatever he loves and forgets the rest.” They’d met the him in the same underground fighting pit that Velvet had been in. Smiling and frankly scary. Rokurou liked fighting and liked it too much. Much like everyone, but Eizen though he wasn’t there by choice. “Sure he has moments where he's in pain, but he doesn't let his love of life get bogged down by that. So he can love anything or even everything. Even bad moments. Rokurou just focuses on what drives him and I envy that. I’m always getting distracted and afraid. I wish I was like that. Someone who doesn’t think of the why…” Laphicet knows it’s pointless to think of the morality or the reasoning of his situation. He’s here now because they have to stop Velvet’s brother and his Dad from causing other people to suffer like they have.    

“…Why do birds fly? You always say that and after all this time traveling with you I have an answer. Birds fly because they want to. Even if it’s the wrong way to fly or if they get lost or hurt... birds keep flying through because they love it. Even if being with you will hurt me… even if I get killed… I’m okay with that. Because, right now, when I hold your hand I’m happy. When I’m with you I’m whole. I don’t need anything else if I have you, Velvet. As long as there’s even a hope of something better I want to fly with you. I want to see our end. Even if it’s sad… even if it hurts me, I’m happy.” The water wells at the corners of his eyes, but doesn’t spill. When he first met Velvet, he thought she would kill him. She used him as a shield to get out with Rokurou and Magilou and at some point, they bumped into Eizen. She was so cold and scary like a monster. Covered in blood and her black hair matted against her back. A scowl as she told him to hurry up. When Velvet asked for his name Laphicet couldn’t remember it… It had been so long since he had a name. He’d been Number Two for so long and when she first called him by a name he’d felt loved. He felt happy. “Even when there are tears running down my cheeks, I know it’s worth it to stay with you because there are happier moments waiting. Even if I come to hate you… I’ll still fly because then I can find new things to love. Even if everything we’re doing now is wrong, I’ll stay true to my path because I can feel happiness. Even if you leave me behind for something new… I won’t give up on life… Even if you do run back to your brother’s arms…” Even if Velvet forgave the brother who sold her to the pit and ruined her life Laphicet would still love her. Even if she reached her goal and killed his father and her brother it would all work out somehow. “As long as we both can fly that’s fine.”

  

_Because, loving you…_

                 ... _Is my free will_

  

 


End file.
